Aaand...she's back again

I'm trying out the idea of having separate blogs for my separate interests again. I think this might be more about politics and such - more of the "grown-up" side of me that has nothing to do with being a mother. Yes, it's hard to separate many things from being a mother, but it's nice to have something that is mine rather than my family's, if that makes any sense. Anyway.

Over the past 6 months or so, our finances have become a serious issue. Mr. Evil had to take a big pay cut in order to continue working, and he didn't get any sort of severance package whatsoever (please don't ask). I should say I'm limited in what I can actually do (like useful money-making skills). I pretty much suck at anything other than music, and it's been 7 years since I have had any students at all. In those 7 years, the opportunities for advertising have slowly gone away. At least out here in the Middle of Nowhere. We have no actual community bulletin board that I know of, no real community center, not even a coffeehouse anymore. There is a bulletin board at the library, but I think it's more for community events than actual businesses. But it never hurts to ask...

The one place where I could advertise would be at church. That's out for fairly obvious reasons (re: my other blog). I'm not quite sure what to do next. There is always McDonalds or Target, but that would mean working nights and weekends. You don't want to know the fights we've gotten into over that one.

Two Adoption Pictures

The Adoption Carnival III over at Grown in My Heart was asking about my favorite adoption photo. I have a couple. I'm not in either one of them; I think you'll figure out why in a minute.

The earlier one was taken by a professional mall photographer about 3 years ago, not long after A's birthday. It's a beautiful black and white shot, with A and M looking at each other. M was smiling, A wasn't if I remember correctly. I haven't been able to find that photo. I suspect I sent all the copies to M and C, her mother, but I'm not sure.

The later one was taken after a visit about...oh, it's been over a year now, I think. It's a picture of M, A and Lil' S (A's first father's sister). A's with her family; she has her mother's looks (like a model) and her aunt's build (tall and slender).

As she's said herself, A's family has 3 sides: K's, mine, and hers. My favorite pictures and memories are the ones when she's with "her side of the family". Sometimes they're difficult to look at, but life's like that.

Everybody gone? Yes?

Then I guess it's time for a bit of a whinge.

I decided to start writing here again to keep things away from certain busybody neighbors, in addition to locking all my adoption-related posts on my other blog. I quit writing there about a couple of weeks ago - roughly coinciding with my "eagerly-anticipated" trip to my gynecologist. Or as A puts it, my "V-doctor".

I've been having some lower back and abdominal pain over the past year or so, along with some breathtaking (literally - as in I can't breathe, the pain is so great) cramping and nausea during my actual periods. Yes, I still have them. :P When I mentioned this to my now-ex doctor over a year ago, she prescribed antidepressants for me and basically told me to shut the hell up and quit bitching. Surprisingly, the antidepressants did exactly nothing for me, and left me worse off than before.

During my visit to this doctor, she raised her eyebrows, asked how much worse were the cramps than before, and wrote me a prescription for an ultrasound along with my yearly breastpress mammogram. Just to make sure it's nothing more serious than premature menopause.

And now that you've had far too much info about me for one day, it's time for me to go. Baby Girl needs to get a cavity filled. Don't ask. I suck so badly as a parent.

I'm back!

At least for a while...

It's that time of year again - the beginning of the official Chez Evil Birthday Month. Yes, next week is the beginning of August, where every week has at least one birthday, and usually more than one. To recap:

Aug. 2: S's birthday
Aug. 16: Evil Bro-in-law's birthday
Aug. 18: M's birthday
Aug. 19: Big Girl's "boyfriend"'s birthday
Aug. 23: Evil Dad/other bro-in-law/my PA buddy's birthday
Aug. 26: Good ex-GF's birthday
Aug. 29: Mom's birthday
Aug. 31: Great-Aunt's birthday/buddy in NC's birthday

I have this nagging feeling that at least one somebody's missing from that list...

Last week I spent an agonizing hour picking out pictures to send with M & S's birthday cards and letters. It's always hard for me. How do you pick out the dozen or so pictures that tell what's been going on here for the past month/s? Every picture's never quite right, never perfect enough. The pictures that show Big Girl with her birthgrandparents, where she looks so much like the two of them - they bring back not-so-happy memories of infertility and tremendous guilt. Even though this was their decision, even though time and again they picked us to be Big Girl's parents (when there were plenty of people encouraging them not to do so) - I still feel guilty. Maybe someday, when I feel stronger, the name of this blog will change. Not today though.

Hi. Remember me?

Yeah, I'm back here - at least for the time being. Following the example of somebody I admire and respect, I think I'm going to split the blog up into two increasingly separate parts. This will be for everything in my life besides family things, apart from the occasional Proud Mom Post. I haven't decided whether or not to announce another blog about our adoption/parenting/rants about infertility; so if you're interested in that, drop me a line at SpydErKlATnErdsHaCkDOTcom.

I've also changed email addresses too. I've become increasingly uncomfortable about the actions of certain big web-based free email providers *coughyahoocough* and their willingness to play games with customer's emails. Recently I got an email, at my new address, from somebody who mentioned they were cleaning out their bulk mail folder. They found four emails from me. So I checked myself...and got quite a nasty surprise. Several e-newsletters, that I had requested and had been receiving for years, were now being delivered into my bulk mail folder. So. If you too use this particular web-based email as your primary contact address, please check your bulk folder too. You might find a surprise or two as well.

Have a good day, and see you again soon.